HE SAID: Notes from the Road

Dr. Lou Stoetzer

While touring Eastern Canada in September of 2003 we found a lovely RV park at the end of the new bridge to Prince Edward Island. The park was full of motorhomes returning from the regional FMCA rally and a festive mood filled the air. We got aquainted with a couple from Detroit who had retired six months earlier and were starting their full-time journey. They seemed happy to sit under the awning and chat with us.

However, as we talked, their mood grew less upbeat. The woman looked wistful and suddenly said that she felt very lonely, much to the surprise of her husband who tried to change the subject. She said she'd felt okay during the rally, but was now in a slump.

She was admitting to a problem that is seldom mentioned around the campfire and never in RV literature. The experience of being lonely is often hidden by new RVers who want to look good and "do it right." They look at happy, seasoned RVers and think something is wrong with them for feeling this way.

Our study of full timers in 2000 showed that loneliness appears in most RVers lives, but most likely to new full-timers – folks who've not had time to build their support system to a healthy level. No one talks about this need and yet we've found that having a solid core of friends is a vital part of success on the road. Women are more likely to admit to this need than men and the modern cell phone with nationwide rates can be a lifesaver for the RVer who wants to stay connected to the important people in their life.

Keep a journal. Reviewing it from time to time can help you learn when the mood is likely to strike. What the woman from Detroit did not understand was that loneliness often occurs after an exciting time, like the rally. Once you know that about yourself you can prevent getting caught off guard. Practice telling your spouse it may happen so he or she can be extra attentive. They can't do much to help if you don't say what's bothering you.

When you load your rig for that big trip remember to take along the phone numbers of your close friends, the ones from back home, and all the new friends you find along the way. Pack them carefully so you can reach out when the blues hit.

How do you deal with loneliness? What do you miss the most when you're "out there?" How do you cope? Send us an email with your thoughts at: rvanswers@escapees.com.

Travel in good health!
Dr. Lou